Let’s be honest here -
I am not the girl men fall in love with.
I am the girl that men want to fuck.
I am a conquest. A prize. A show.
I could count on five hundred fingers
the number of people that have professed,
“I like you. You’re different. You’re an interesting girl.”
Apparently I’m not fascinating enough for you
to want to hold for more than a one night stand.
as I finished swimming a sea of blankets
and got left stranded on the shore,
I asked myself:
What’s wrong with me?
What am I doing?
Am I not good enough for anybody?
And right before I could drown again,
the sun woke up and said,
You are enough.
Forget the men whose hands have groped your hips
in search for answers to questions
you’ve never even heard of.
Do not settle for people who do not appreciate you,
who do not know how lucky they are.
Remember it is a privilege to be loved by you,
or even just
to be touched by you, and
the warmth of another body does not define your worth.
These men -
they think that they can own you
with their drunken stares and roughened arms, but
I have circled the earth
a thousand times
to feed the light flowing inside your skin.
Do not waste it by illuminating those who
can not even be bothered
to learn your last name.”
So that night when
the moon tried once more to pin me down,
I told him:
I am made of sunlight, crashing waves, and fireworks.
You think you can tame me
and cool my flesh?
I am the girl who plays with matches,
and trust me I play it well.
Lord knows I’ve walked through villages leaving
a pile of destruction in my wake.
My heart is a bushfire
and the next time you try to control me,
darling, make no mistake -
I will burst out and ravage you in flames.
do not tell her you love her if you are not ready for her to call you at 3 AM freaking out.
do not tell her you love her if you cannot handle her father or mother.
do not tell her you love her if you cannot love her at her worse.
do not tell her you love her if you only crave for her curves, not her mind.
do not tell her you love her if you cannot deal with her mood swings.
do not tell her you love her just to have sex.
Cute flower questions
- Daisy: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
- Carnation: If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?
- Jasmine: What color looks best on you?
- foxglove: Name three facts about your family?
- Allium: What's the best thing you can cook?
- Orange Blossom: What's the best dream you've ever had?
- Calla Lily: If you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral?
- Poinsettia: Favorite holiday dish?
- Oxlip: Would you ever get into a long distance relationship?
- Primrose: Favorite kind of soup?
- Daffodil: What's the most thoughtful present you've ever received?
- Rose: Are you currently in love with someone?
- Amsonia: Would you ever become a vegan?
- Peony: What's your favorite hot beverage?
- Tulip: For your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?
- Myrtle: Do you like going on airplanes?
- Hibiscus: Did you ever play an instrument? If so what?
- Zinnia: Who was your best friend when you were six years old?
- Poppy: What color was your childhood home?
- Hydrangea: Starbucks order?
- Violet: Do you like where you're from?
- Locust: What was your favorite book as a child?
- Rhododendron: What's the scariest dream you've ever had?
- Queen Anne's Lace: Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?
- Magnolia: Favorite kind of candy?
- Aster: Would you rather be cold or hot?
- Marigold: Do you listen to what's on the radio?
- Heliconia: Do you like when it rains?
- Azalea: What's a movie you cried while watching?
- Dandelion: Do you think you're important?
- Me: I'd like to propose a toast
- Me: *accidentally sings La vie Boheme*
Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.
My best friend actually called me the other day about the whole baking powder thing haha
This list is 110% true
HOW “HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER” SHOULD HAVE ENDED:
"Yeah Dad, thanks for sharing the intimate details of your friends’ sex lives."
"Seriously. Good talk."
How I Met Your Mother And Used Her To Have The Kids That Aunt Robin Never Would And Then Wore Down Aunt Robin Anyway Haha My Name Is Ted Moseby And I’m A Nice Guy™